Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
