everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
