I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
