he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
