you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i don't like sucking hair
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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