Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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