She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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