I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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