I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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