I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize