Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
