i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Who died my cat blue again?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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