Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
