I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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