I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
