Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
