You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
