I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
