dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
