pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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