so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
