dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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