Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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