I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
