you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
