Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
