Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
