I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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