But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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