I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
