get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I want her autograph on my taint
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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