we made out on top of his cat.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
