is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
