I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
