we're blogging at a bar
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
