Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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