Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
