If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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