Small penises have feelings too.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it's like heaven, but drunker
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
