After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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