I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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