Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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