If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize