how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
