At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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