no, he came in my armpit
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
