Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
