Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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