I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
