I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
