is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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