rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
