The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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