was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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