I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
