she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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