So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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