I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
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