u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No stitches, just platelets and will power
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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