then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
